tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13253180.post6870865731023875517..comments2024-01-19T23:25:38.879-08:00Comments on surly gourmand: Jasmine Provincial Vietnamese RestaurantSurly Gourmandhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15879641797332480079noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13253180.post-65789276926194153272010-02-22T23:16:57.783-08:002010-02-22T23:16:57.783-08:00Natasha Reed,
you're a photographer; the best...Natasha Reed,<br /><br />you're a photographer; the best way to lust after me is to send naked pics: high- res jpegs can be emailed to me surlygourmand at theseattlesinner dot com.<br /><br />I don't know what sleeving is but it sounds like something your mom might be into. I'll run it past her.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /> <br />Your Friend the Surly Motherfucking GourmandSurly Gourmandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15879641797332480079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13253180.post-10759136765562037562010-02-04T15:22:58.005-08:002010-02-04T15:22:58.005-08:00Ohh Surly Cyrano, you had me at "This place i...Ohh Surly Cyrano, you had me at "This place is fucked" but to essentially be treated to two blog posts in one, man. I developed a crush on you when I read the Bastile blog, and now I'm in stone-cold lust. Don't call the cops yet, I'll pine in bittersweet silence. <br /><br />P.S. Didn't Anonymous know that he could earn more sessions by sleeving?Natasha Reedhttp://www.natashareedblog.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13253180.post-88792247453700936672008-11-12T07:02:00.000-08:002008-11-12T07:02:00.000-08:00Caralee,Thanks. And keep up the good work at your ...Caralee,<BR/><BR/>Thanks. And keep up the good work at your insurance company, or whatever it is that you write about on your blog.<BR/><BR/>Sincerely,<BR/><BR/>Your Friend the Surly Motherfucking GourmandSurly Gourmandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15879641797332480079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13253180.post-47653487075272849422008-11-11T21:53:00.000-08:002008-11-11T21:53:00.000-08:00Well said.Well said.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13253180.post-27409676773846963882008-07-28T21:15:00.000-07:002008-07-28T21:15:00.000-07:00It seems we've got a real comedian here. I'm so de...It seems we've got a real comedian here. I'm so devastated by your cutting insult I'm contemplating suicide even as I type this. But before I do that, I'm going to come up with a list of 20 better put downs you could have come up with about me, Cyrano de Bergerac style, that would have certainly sent me into into the funny farm with post traumatic stress disorder:<BR/><BR/>1. I'm a hack.<BR/>2. I'm such a plagirist the New York Times wouldn't even hire me.<BR/>3. I'm such a SUPER ULTRA plagirist, I've never met a joke from <I>The Simpsons</I> I wouldn't steal (except that I would never steal a joke from any of the episodes from seasons 8-16, which REALLY sucked balls, especially the ones guest starring Ron Howard). <BR/>4. I suck balls as bad as Ron Howard.<BR/>5. My nut sack is so ghoulish it resembles Telly Savalas's corpse's shrivelled rotten bald head.<BR/>6. My nut sack is ACTUALLY so ghoulish it resembles Telly Savalas's corpse's shrivelled rotten nut sack, which is even grosser because it's a dead guy's nuts.<BR/>7. My dick is so small quantum mechanics don't apply to its existence. That's because my dick has no gravitational field. That's how miniscule it is.<BR/>8. I'm so retarded Stephen Hawking makes fun of me.<BR/>9. I'm so retarded I won the gold medal at the Special Olympics. Because they don't give out medals at the Special Olympics based on athletic ability; they give out medals based on who the most retarded competitor is. Thus the third most retarded guy gets the bronze, the second most retarded guy gets the silver medal, and so on.<BR/>10. I'm a craven and unchivalrous individual.<BR/>11. I'm so dumb I buy things on infomercials.<BR/>12. I'm so dumb that when watching an infomercial, I shake my head and commiserate with the actors who clumsily demonstrate how hard it is to do the common activity that the product being sold in the informercial is supposed to replace.<BR/>14. I'm such a superstitous fucktard I don't like numbering things with the number 13 in lists of things that I'm making.<BR/>15. I'm so dumb I believe Bill Gates will send me $1000 for forwarding an email to 20 of my best friends.<BR/>16. I'm so dumb I wanted to make sure that all my college aged friends watch out for beautiful strangers in bars who will typically poison them with roofies slipped into their drinks, them cut out one of their kidneys and stick them in a bathtub full of ice, instead of just murdering them and stealing BOTH kidneys for twice the black market profits.<BR/>17. I'm so corrupt I'm a better businessman than fictitious kidney thieves.<BR/>18. I'm so boring people would rather watch C-SPAN than watch me get in a fiery drag racing- related accident.<BR/>19. I'm so unfunny, I sent this list of put downs to Garrison Keillor. He wrote me back saying it was the funnest list he'd ever read.<BR/>20. I'm so condescending, I feel the need to explain that Garrison Keillor is, in my opinion, so goddamned not funny that his approval of my put down list is a tacit example of how not funny I am.<BR/><BR/>And because I'm feeling magnanimous (and because I superstitiously skipped #13), here's one more:<BR/>21. I'm so boring my blog only gets viewed by half-wit douchebags with nothing better to do than anonymously type out lame ass insults.<BR/><BR/>I don't mind accepting criticism. I usually gracefully admit when I'm wrong, and in fact I'm happy to print retractions when a reader gets me dead to rights about something I fucked up. But fuck you with your second grade bullshit, with no evidence to back you up. If you're going to insult me in MY house, I'd advise you to bring your A- game.Surly Gourmandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15879641797332480079noreply@blogger.com